I am a painstaking 4 weeks into round two of my miscarriage. For those of you who don’t know what a miscarriage feels like (and I hope that none of you do) imagine your worst period, double the cramps, quadruple the hormones and make it last for an entire month (ok apparently this last part is unusual).

For the men out there, it’s not as bad as being hit in the nards but, from what I understand from Bert, a miscarriage is analogous to the second most painful thing that can happen to a guy – a toe stubbing. Except its one, long, ongoing, seemingly ceaseless stub.

The one thing I regret not doing earlier, is issuing daily reports, similar to those boating bulletins you get on the radio. Today would be:

Light flows in the southerly direction with possibilities of easing around 10 pm. Emotional waves are mild over most areas however boaters should be aware that surges are building around ‘too much work point’ and the cape of ‘yes, yes I am still bleeding’. Dangerous undertows can be expected when blood sugar drops.

Given the conditions out there today, boaters are advised to avoid channel 2 on the onboard radio (the one that issues empty sentiments of sympathy) and tune in, instead to channel 4 (the foot massage one).

Well this past year has been um, hectic is I suppose a good word for it. But all of the trials and tribulations we have gone through have taught me tolerance for different belief systems.

I now respect faith more than I did before and accept it rather than trying to destroy it with logical arguments overflowing with reason and common sense. I guess this makes me a better person.

For example, when Bert states with a conviction that can only come from divine insight that it will not rain during a camping trip, I don’t even consider packing the tarp. Nope, not for one second, not for a million grey clouds in the sky, not for a dozen weather forecasts to the contrary.

Likewise when Bert takes it on faith that if he ignores his folded laundry for long enough it will return to its natural habitat in his closet, I don’t contradict him or foil his plans by nagging him (thereby, of course, thwarting his efforts to ignore his laundry).

Belief is a rare and precious thing that should be nurtured.

Which is why, when the dog stands before a squirrel believing with all of her heart that one day all squirrels will recognize her authority and bow down before her in supplication I don’t laugh at her. At least not on the outside.

And in return when I state, with all certainty, that I am done with drama for the year, my husband hugs me, my dog rests her head on my lap and I believe.

Daniel, my little brother, was at the Provinical Championships for golf this week. His two practice rounds went fantastically (he shot 71 and 73). He was all ready for the first round and started off with a spectacular drive off the first tee.

Then while waiting for the rest of the group to tee off he was stung by a bee. He had an allergic reaction to the sting, which swelled up, and was swolen and ill for the rest of the round.

He shot an 86 and sat in 137th place after the first round. Only 70 players make the cut after the second round.

The next day he was back out on the course, his sting was fine and he shot a 72.

He missed the cut by two strokes.

All because of a bee.

I started to think about the cascading implications of that bee sting. If he hadn’t been stung he would have made the cut, then he more than likely would have qualified for nationals, he would have practiced golf all summer, left for university about a week later, played in nationals and goodness knows what else.

I woke up this morning thinking about all of the things that bee cost Daniel.

And then I read the alumni newsletter from my high school. I read about the death of a 17 year-old student in a car crash over the March break.

It put everything into perspective and made me think - that bee cost Daniel all sorts of good things but, for all I know, it may have saved him from a whole lot of bad as well.

The bee, however, knows exactly what happened to it because it stung Daniel - if there’s a bee heaven that is.

Since I don’t have much time, here are a few points on what I’ve learned while I’ve been in Germany:

1. Germans really do start and finish everything on time, and on the odd occasion when they don’t (because of the late arrival of a dignitary, for example) lamentations on the loss of 15 minutes are endless

2. $5 flip-flops are not such a good deal when you have to spend $7 on blister band-aids in order to wear them

3. Berlin at the end of June is friggin cold – next time I will bring a jacket

4. You do not have to spend 20 Euros on an umbrella, if you spend enough time huddling inside shops waiting for the rain showers to pass you will eventually find an umbrella that costs only 3 Euros

5. It is very easy to spend far more than 20 Euros while huddling inside shops waiting for the rain showers to pass

6. Boiled beef should never be advertised as a ‘local specialty’ it does not sound appealing or impressive

7. Don’t bother asking the information hotline at Frankfurt airport for any information – they don’t have it and can’t seem to understand why anyone would expect that they do.

I’m so happy I decided to stay in Sardinia for an extra day.

I’m also so happy I got a blister on the bottom of my second toe last night.

You see my blister is forcing me to do practically nothing today and it is divinely relaxing.

Yay blister!