There’s a new guy at work and, even though he’s only been here for two weeks, we are butting heads like a pair of horny rams.

First off, instead of saying, ‘Could you please send me…’ he says, ‘I need you to send me…’

This actually didn’t bother me the first few times he said it because I figured that he didn’t realize that we’re actually at the same level.

Now that he knows it bugs the hell out of me.

Second, when I did send him something he said, ‘Well, there’s nothing of any substance here, no wonder you’re not getting any results.’

I almost picked him up - office chair and all - and hucked him out of the window. Instead I said, ‘You’re welcome to change anything you like.’

Then when he told me that I should copy him on anything donor-related that I send to our boss I said ‘no’. That’s all, just no.

He told me he needs almost twice as much funding to run a meeting than anyone else in the entire office.

I said that we have to be consistent.

Then he told me that something he’s doing is actually doing someone else’s job, without actually speaking to the other person to get their view on the matter.

I suggested that he might want to discuss it with the other person.

Then he told me that I don’t need to worry about doing half of my job anymore because it makes more sense for him to do it.

I suggested that we have lunch next week to discuss the matter.

I’m thinking mandrake root salad with an arsenic dressing.