Compared the dog to Winston Churchill (they’re both overweight)

Dropped dirt on my foot and, since I was running late, only shook it off so I still have dirty toes

Stirred my oatmeal with my finger because I didn’t want to get my spoon dirty before stirring my tea

Forgot to turn the dryer on

Remembered to take the garbage out

Put my hair in a ponytail for the first time in at least a year