So, say you volunteer to pick up someones mail while they’re away and you end up repainting their living room - well that’s a non-work analogy of what’s happened to me at work this week.

It’s under control now - I think - however things are likely to blow up again next week but for now I know what I have to do, when I have to do it for (mostly), and why I always find myself getting into these situations.

The ironic thing is that Bert is usually the one who volunteers to do stuff without thinking about the consequences. I think that 8′ish years of being together is starting to affect us.

As an aside, I’ve always heard that when women live together for extended periods of time their menstrual cycles synchronize. Now I’ve lived with women as roommates before but I can’t say that I ever asked any of them when they had their period (perhaps it’s my British sense of propriety) so I can neither confirm nor deny this rumor. Does anyone know if it’s true or not?

As another aside, here are a few facts about my childhood and farts:

1. Farts were called ‘rude smells’
2. We were obliged to go into the bathroom if ever we had to ‘make a rude smell’
3. The dog was under no such obligation
4. Fart jokes were one of the very few forms of humor that were absolutely and unequivocally banned from our house

I am off liquor for a month.

After a couple of rough weekends (all be it very fun rough weekends) and a series of work dinners, receptions, cocktail hours, Argentina day celebrations etc. I feel like I am fully saturated with alcohol.

I think it will take at least a month to get my poor body back into shape.

In between drinking way too much I did finish planting flowers in the back garden - well almost.

This weekend the city was giving away 24 flowers for planting to each resident starting at 9am on Saturday. By noon on Saturday they had completely run out which seems like either false advertising or poor planning. Either way I have a number of pots which remain empty and a bag of dirt with nowhere to go.

We did spread compost in our planters for the first time ever, and even mixed sand into the dirt in an attempt to save our rapidly declining Basil. For us this is very hands on gardening - I’ll let you know if it actually works.

Bert and I were going to go for a bike ride after work today but when I got to work my boss passed on an invitation to a tango spectacle in celebration of Argentina day.

Now I have never celebrated Argentina day before, and I don’t really know anyone who does.

But there’s free wine and I did spend many a day during my youth celebrating Argentinian wine.

So we’re not going to go biking, we’re going to go and hang out with a bunch of Argentinians while other Argentinians dance the passionate dance of love.

There’s a new guy at work and, even though he’s only been here for two weeks, we are butting heads like a pair of horny rams.

First off, instead of saying, ‘Could you please send me…’ he says, ‘I need you to send me…’

This actually didn’t bother me the first few times he said it because I figured that he didn’t realize that we’re actually at the same level.

Now that he knows it bugs the hell out of me.

Second, when I did send him something he said, ‘Well, there’s nothing of any substance here, no wonder you’re not getting any results.’

I almost picked him up - office chair and all - and hucked him out of the window. Instead I said, ‘You’re welcome to change anything you like.’

Then when he told me that I should copy him on anything donor-related that I send to our boss I said ‘no’. That’s all, just no.

He told me he needs almost twice as much funding to run a meeting than anyone else in the entire office.

I said that we have to be consistent.

Then he told me that something he’s doing is actually doing someone else’s job, without actually speaking to the other person to get their view on the matter.

I suggested that he might want to discuss it with the other person.

Then he told me that I don’t need to worry about doing half of my job anymore because it makes more sense for him to do it.

I suggested that we have lunch next week to discuss the matter.

I’m thinking mandrake root salad with an arsenic dressing.

Compared the dog to Winston Churchill (they’re both overweight)

Dropped dirt on my foot and, since I was running late, only shook it off so I still have dirty toes

Stirred my oatmeal with my finger because I didn’t want to get my spoon dirty before stirring my tea

Forgot to turn the dryer on

Remembered to take the garbage out

Put my hair in a ponytail for the first time in at least a year