I’ve never liked spiders. I’m convinced that every spider has some sort of extraordinary jumping ability which it will uleash if I try to squash it, launching itself at my face where it will crawl over my nose.

Somehow the image of having a spider crawling on my nose freaks me out like you wouldn’t believe.

On the other hand, when someone says, ‘Oh my God, stand still there’s an enormous spider on your back’ I don’t freak out. I stand still.

Do you think that means that I have no ‘flight’ reflex?

But then the day I was walking in the park and some crazy guy threw a bike at me I was very flighty. And whenever I see creepy George from the dog park the only thought that enters my mind is ‘dear God I have to run’.

Recently I’ve been having dreams about spiders a lot but they’re not scary dreams (aka nightmares). They’re actually rather soothing dreams and some of the only dreams I atually remember when I wake up.

So either (1) subconciously I actually have a great afinitiy towards spiders, (2) the spiders have gotten into my brain and are trying to lull me into a false sense of security, or (3) I was bitten my a radioactive spider in Antigua and am morphing into spider girl. If it’s (3) I promise I’ll tell you all.