Ok it’s been a while since I’ve had a good rant so here it goes…

Since when did laws become the absolute moral standard? Ok equating laws against rape and murder with a basic moral stance against rape and murder is fine but it seems now that people are more and more often saying “It’s not illegal” as an explanation for being impolite and inconsiderate. (As in its not illegal to smoke outside therefore it’s ok that I dangle my cigarette over your baby carriage).

Yes, laws are in place to protect us but they must allow for some freedom in choice and actions which means that our actions on a daily basis should not be defined by laws alone. Laws set the absolute, basic, minimum moral standards; we each need to strive on our own to achieve more.

For example, the guy who backed out of the offer that we had accepted on our place in DC (causing us to lose probably $20,000 since we already rejected the other offers) was legally allowed to do so without giving us a reason, but it would have been very nice to know why he suddenly decided to screw us over. When I mentioned this, ‘its within his legal rights’ was the excuse that was given for his rudeness and suddenly I felt like I was accused of being the bad guy because I wanted him to waive his rights or something. No, I just want him to be polite, I just want a fax that says ‘sorry due to unforeseen circumstances’ or something not the fax he sent (I am withdrawing my offer, send my deposit to this address).

And our neighbors, well the law clearly states that no construction in residential areas can take place before 7am but that doesn’t mean that it’s polite of them to start working on the wall directly behind our bed at 7:01. There are plenty of other places that they could be working that wouldn’t wake us up, the wall behind our kitchen for example but this solution hasn’t seemed to cross their mind. Their reasoning is, “we’re legally allowed to start now so we have fulfilled all obligations to our neighbors.” You have fulfilled your obligations to the legal system of the city of Montreal; you are choosing to do no more for your neighbors!

Anyway perhaps I am being naïve, expecting people to do more than the absolute minimum but gee wiz people, stop hiding behind the law. You might be a law-abiding citizen but your still a rude, inconsiderate sob!

On Friday I introduced you to my original family, and now on to my new family (parents-in-law excluded cause I sense a trap, no, no Bert, certainly not a trap laid by you, just a trap with alarm bells and all…)

Who: Bert (aka Bertrand pronounced the French way – my husband)

Super Power: 100% complete devotion of mind and body to whatever he’s decided to devote himself too (closely followed by an amazing capacity to absorb gadgets into every day life)

Favorite Saying: “…as follows” (e.g. the genius of my plan is as follows) or “tpzzzzzzzz” (sound of a blown raspberry)

Probable activity next weekend: speed skating, speed skating, and more speed skating (see description of Daniel for definition of obsessed)

Who: Thibaut (brother-in-law)

Super Power: wily ability to extract himself from trouble (first runner up: getting into trouble in the first place)

Favorite Saying: “Be nice” or “tee hee” (the choice of favorite saying is a function of the daily (i) amount of sugar consumed and (ii) number of hours of triathlon training)

Probable activity next weekend: writing his thesis on the organizational structure of highly organized anarchist hierarchies (or something like that)

Who: Justine (sister-in-law)

Super Power: amazing ability to select the right shade of make-up for every complexion

Favorite Saying: “As if.” (she is a teenager) and “A velo pas en velo” (she also happens to be way smarter than the rest of us)

Probable activity next weekend: reading, writing, and bending in unimaginable ways (rhythmic gymnastics)

You know sometimes I get so focused on running around that I forget that I have a whole family out there that’s running around as well. And so on this cloudy and cold Friday I will introduce you all to my family.

Who: My Mom

Super Power: Unlimited love (even better than a Care Bear – and she does it without the weird sunshine, rainbow, flower, love tattoo thing the Care Bears have to fall back on. And she doesn’t need to count down to use her super power either.)

Favorite Saying: “Them that does naught, does naught wrong” or “Sometimes I hate being so capable, in my next life I’m coming back as a simpering useless woman.”

Celebrity most similar to: Julie Andrews (British, classy, and very rebel-nun like)

Probable Activity Tomorrow: Studying for her cardiology technician licensing exam thing (all beyond my comprehension)

Who: Oliver (2 years younger than me)

Super Power: Ability to entertain anyone at any time (seriously, this guy had old women dancing the tango at a friends wedding – no, they weren’t even drunk)

Favorite Saying: “Do you have any beer?”

Celebrity most similar to: That American Idol host (not the lame one from the first season, the good one, you know who I’m talking about, geez, what’s his name again?)

Probable Activity Tomorrow: Working on his house (ok, I say house, but I think that at the moment it’s actually a hole in the ground, but I’m sure it’s the most stylish hole in the neighborhood)

Who: Daniel (11 years younger than me)

Super Power: Ability to eat non-stop all day long (imagine the cookie monster but less blue)

Favorite Saying: “Whatever” closely followed by, “Not much” (he is a teenager after all)

Celebrity most similar to: Jesper Parnevik (great golfer, sense of style that sometimes escapes my understanding)

Probable Activity Tomorrow: Golf, golf and then, more golf - slightly obsessed that one is; leads to the dark side obsession does (* in this case the dark side is the most boring activity known to man: watching golf on tv!)

Ok so to increase the interactiveness (hey look, I made a new word) of my blog I have constructed a game of sorts. I have listed some of the interesting statements I’ve overheard during the past week or so, followed by two possible contexts…try to guess which one is true.

“Wow, you again! We must be on the same drinking cycle”
a. An alcoholics anonymous welcome meeting, two repeat ‘customers’ come face to face
b. The women’s bathroom at my office, two repeat ‘customers’ come face to face

“I object!”
a. On the set of a court room drama involving domestic dispute and drinking at the local cinema bar
b. At the movie theater during a domestic dispute just before drinking at the local cinema bar

“If I see him I’m going to drop my fairy side and let him have it.”
a. At Disneyland, tinkerbell explaining how she’s going to get tough with Captain Hook who’s been hassling the Lost Boys in Neverland
b. At the dog park, an openly gay man explaining how he’s going to get tough with some obnoxious guy who’s been hassling women in the park

“I have a compulsion to race and sometimes I cheat”
a. The explanation of Donald Rumsfeld who went to war over nothing sending his bunker-busting arms flailing taking out civilians as they were running away from him down the street
b. The explanation of some rather chagrined young guy who tripped over nothing sending his arms flailing almost taking out Jaime as she was running past him down the street

If you answered b to all of the above then you’re right (if you answered a then you obviously think I have a far more exciting life than I actually do…or you think I hallucinate).

Our apartment is a work in progress, meaning that we’ve been reduced to washing dishes in our bathroom sink and storing pots and pans on our fireplace. Anyway, as a quick retreat Bert and I decided to escape the chaos that is our home for one night over the weekend. Not wanting to wander to far a-field we went to Mont Tremblant.

To create an appropriately detailed setting for the coming tale, allow me to present a few facts about Mont Tremblant.

1. All of the golf course in Mont Tremblant are named after evil (The Beast, The Devil, The Monster, etc.)

2. The ‘Village’ of Month Tremblant is about 20 minutes by car from the “Pedestrian Village’ at the base of Mont Tremblant the mountain making navigation very confusing

3. About 40 km from Mont Tremblant the highway turns into a three land divided road with a speed limit of 100 km/hr and no on-ramps (or off ramps for that matter – not that you can’t get on and off the ‘highway’ there are just no ramps to ease the transition from 100 km/hr to 20 km/hr)

4. As Bert observed, the raccoons in Mont Tremblant have unusually large derrieres (a feature shared by many of the local chefs)

Now that you have an image in your mind, let me begin my tale.

For me the ultimate luxury is lying in bed in a hotel room reading a book until the wee hours of the morning (tee hee, I said wee). Unfortunately life is rather hectic at the moment so I haven’t had a chance to wander through a bookstore in ages. And so I very publicly set reading a book as a goal for the trip.

When we arrived in Mont Tremblant (the pedestrian village) we were greeted with rain so, like the outdoor enthusiasts that we are, we retreated to a pub for lunch and a beer. After a long, leisurely lunch I asked the bartender to point me in the direction of the bookstore and this is the extent of what I got out of the heavily accented, loud bar-based conversation.

“There’s no bookstore here, you have to go to Saint Joavite.”
“Where is that?”
“You take a car or the bus”
“Ok”
“There’s a fountain in the village”
“Which village”
“Go around”
“Ok”
“It’s opposite the gas station”
“Right then”

So off we went:

We went to where the busses gathered, but they were all shuttle busses for the hotels, so

We walked back to our car, and

We drove to the village (of Mont Tremblant) where

We couldn’t find the fountain, so

We asked a lady in a golf shop who sent us on the right track to Saint Joavite, but

We got lost, went around in a circle, until

We found our way to the “highway”, where

We got lost again, so

We pulled a u-turn, and

Found Saint Joavite,

Found a gas station, with a bar opposite it,

Found a gas station, with a grocery store opposite it,

Found a gas station, with a Jehovah’s Witness temple opposite it, then

We asked a lady sitting in a car who gave us directions, so

We drove back to Saint Joavite,

Past the first gas station,

Past the second gas station,

Behind the second gas station, where

We found the bookstore! Yay!

It had only taken us an hour to achieve success (in the form of a tiny little bookstore / seller of medieval paraphernalia and fake swords).

Proudly we rushed back to the ‘pedestrian village’ (almost running over a bottom heavy - or heavy bottomed raccoon) and set about our next, enjoy the outdoors in the rain weekend activity…finding somewhere to eat dinner and drink wine. In our quest we passed a little sign about a two minute walk from the pub where we had lunch. The sign read:

“Mont Tremblant Bookstore – 10 meters”