Snooty old women

Favorite Breeds: anything small, fluffy, and white
Most Hated Breeds: mutts and puppies (both are far too uncivilized all bouncy and undignified, why have you seen the way they sniff each other….positively indecent)
Personalities: The dogs and the old women both tend to be snarky and snappy and it is best to steer clear of such abrasive personalities
Distinguishing Characteristics: These dog owners typically take their dogs to the groomers once a week and will throw a blue fit if some riffraff dog gets dirt or mud on their precious darlings
Jaime’s experience: conversation between two snooty old women
“Oh look we’re wearing the same scarf.”
“Ah yes, Hermes Classic Selection.”
“Do you have one for your dog.”
“Well I did but she apparently didn’t like the colour…she ate it.”
“Oh my.”

Drug Dealers (not the hard-drug type, the pot type)

Favorite Breeds: big, mean, and preferably ugly
Most Hated Breeds: snooty old women
Personalities: Both dog and owner tend to look tough but, at least in Montreal, below the surface…well let’s just say the dogs are giant softies
Distinguishing Characteristics: Dingy backpacks and walks with frequent stops at houses displaying posters of Che Guevara
Jaime’s experience: “Meeka stop bullying that dog. I’m terribly sorry sir she’s usually very submissive.”
“Oh, that’s ok, Rocky always gets beaten up by dogs half his size.”

College Students

Favorite Breeds: whatever happened to look especially cute at the SPCA that day
Most Hated Breeds: how could anybody hate these cuties their all so cute
Personalities: laid back, poorly trained
Distinguishing Characteristics: in Montreal these owners are distinguishable by their unique walking style: the dogs will be off the leash and the owners will walk with a constant head swivel, like a bobble-head, keenly watching for police handing out tickets for dogs who are off the leash
Jaime’s experience: “Ok guys, my friend was walking her dog the other day and you know the trick we use, lying about our name and address when the cops stop us for having the dogs off the leash. Well she did that but then the cop followed her home to make sure she wasn’t lying.”

Those Who Really Wanted a Baby but Got a Dog Instead (usually first-timers)

Favorite Breeds: here’s where I’ve seen the most instances of people getting dogs that resemble themselves…ok people they’re dogs, they might look like you when they’re sitting on the couch but what about when they’re rolling in horse poo…yep that’s right, they’re dogs not people
Most Hated Breeds: anything stronger/cuter/smarter than their precious darling
Personalities: two words…over-protective. The first time variety of these owners will panic when some other dog plays too rough with their little baby, they will lecture the owner of any dog that steals their poor little baby’s stick / ball and fawn over how oh so cute it is when they’re darling steals it back.
Distinguishing Characteristics: these owners spend most of their walks bent over double making sure that their baby’s paws are ok, that their baby isn’t sniffing anything nasty, that there are no bees buzzing around their baby’s head
Jaime’s experience: “Excuse me but I don’t think that my dog likes your dog.” “Really they seem to be playing really well together.” “No, you see my dog keeps running away from your dog.” “Well that’s because they’re playing chase.” “Well don’t you think that my dog should have a turn doing the chasing.” “Ummmmm…”