I’m afraid that I will be absent from blogging for the rest of the week. My grandmother passed away on the weekend after a very quick battle with brain cancer and I will be heading off to England for the funeral.

I’m sorry that so few of you ever knew my grandmother, although I grew up far from her and the rest of my extended family she taught me some very special lessons that I would like to share with you here.

1. Ghosts do exist: My grandmother used to tell me stories about the ghosts that she’d seen and it seemed to me the most excitingly terrifying thing. I remember forcing myself to walk up to the commons at night, in the pitch black of the English moors I felt sure that ghosts would abound. I would only look back every ten steps so that I didn’t scare off any ghosts who might be shyly sneaking up from behind. I would listen very carefully although I had no idea what I was listening for.

But I never met a ghost on my nightly walks and I think I know why. I think I was looking too hard, I think that I was waiting so hard for what I imagined the experience to be like that I missed the real thing. I wished I had asked my grandmother how she had managed to see her ghosts. I can only imagine that, unlike me, she wasn’t blinded by expectations. That she took each experience, in ghosts and in life, for exactly what it was, no pre-conceived notions, no expectations, just enjoyment at the gifts she was given.

2. Nobody’s perfect: My grandmother wasn’t a perfect person. She had a tendency to see herself as the victim and always took the most casual disagreements to heart. I loved that about her. I loved that she was real, that she had real faults and imperfect emotions. She taught me, by being a great but imperfect person, that it was ok for me to be imperfect too. She taught me that it’s ok to be grumpy in the morning or lazy in the afternoon as long as you’re always ready to step up to the plate. She taught me that it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you share your love. As long as you’re always there with a hug and forgiveness in your heart, it’s ok to be human.