Welcome to 27.193.45’s broadcast of the tenth anniversary of the Directorate of Propaganda; I’m your host, Mr. Smith. We’re reporting live today from the Franklin Compound where employees and their families are playing host to guests from around the country. Here comes a happy employee now…

Excuse me Miss, may we have a moment of your time?

“Why of course, we’re having an open house of sorts here today, and hey, even if we weren’t, I work for you and your listeners anyway.”

Thank you. Could you tell our listeners a little bit about what it’s like to work at the Directorate of Propaganda?

“I’d be delighted! I started working here almost six years ago. Before then I was working for the marketing division at one of the big four drug firms and I can’t imagine going back to that; the atmosphere here is just so much better.

How so?

Well, at the drug company I was always battling to drive the competition down. I wasn’t so much selling one product as I was strategizing and plotting to defeat all the other guys out there with similar products.

Here things are much more positive, there’s no subterfuge or conflict, here we’re promoting a product that has no competition, a product that doesn’t require financing or credit, here we’re promoting pride and it’s free for all.”

That is very insightful, I’m sure you’ve inspired many listeners out there.

“Oh really, that’s fantastic, we’re always looking for great new people to join our team.”

Did you hear that listeners, perhaps I should drop my personal information off and see what the Directorate could offer me. Until then though, I’ll see who else can take a break from the festivities to join our broadcast.

Excuse me, umm hello sir.

“Hello, oh are we streaming live.”

Yes we are sir.

“That’s fantastic, can I say Hi to my wife and kids.”

You just did sir.

“Oh hey, that’s right, you got me there. What can I do for you, and your listeners?”

Well sir, perhaps you can tell us all what brought you here today.

“Sure thing! I drove out this morning, six hours it took me to get here but I figured it would be worth it; how often does a guy have the opportunity to hang out on the front lawn of the Franklin Compound sipping wine and nibbling on, well whatever this here cracker thing is?

I should be honest with you though, that’s not the real reason I’m here. The real reason is much more personal.”

Please, go on.

“Of course…I’m here today because the Directorate of Propaganda saved my life. Ten years ago I was suffering from severe depression. I felt like a complete failure, I had just lost my job with the city because of tardiness, or something like that, the bank repossessed my car and my girlfriend left as quickly as my Chevy did.

I was on mood enhancing drugs which kept me from going right over the edge but they were sucking up the last of my savings and I had maybe three more weeks before I would have been left high and dry. I really thought that I was a worthless waste of carbon until I saw the first ever effort broadcast by the Directorate of Propaganda.

I was sitting on my Mother’s sofa when the old Propaganda march came on the television, you remember the one, hey maybe you can pipe it through to the audience when we’re done here. Anyway, that march was a classic I tell you, it literally pulled me up off that old piece of junk sofa and held me transfixed for over an hour.

After the broadcast had ended my heart was near bursting with pride, I forgot all my shame and realized that as a part of this great society of ours I am important. I help this fantastic machine that is our country run smoothly, powerfully, and compassionately.

The moment I realized that I had a very important role to play I tossed the last of my drugs, ran out of that house and got my life in order. I got a job checking wires at the relay station, found myself a wife, and had two children to carry on our great tradition. I could never have done that if the Directorate of Propaganda hadn’t opened my eyes to the pride that I’m entitled to feel not because of who I am but because of the part I play in our society!”

That’s a great story sir, unfortunately the original Propaganda march was decommissioned years ago but we have a great recording of the latest version which I’m sure our listeners will enjoy just as much. Here you go listeners, you’re amongst the first group to hear the anniversary Propaganda march and I’m sure it will bring tears of pride to your eyes as it did to mine.

I’ll be back with more from the Franklin Compound in an hour, just as soon as the march is done.

Mr. Flash, our most heartfelt welcome.

“Thank you and welcome to all of your listeners, it truly is a shame that they couldn’t all be with us today, the weather is perfect and the party’s in full swing. We’re going to be taking this show on the road though, a full year of appearances and special releases to celebrate the Directorates’ anniversary.”

That sounds fantastic; we’ll provide our listeners with a complete downloadable schedule at the end of this broadcast.

“Much obliged, we could never have achieved the successes we’ve had without you and your audience.”

Mr. Flash, you’re too kind. We’re all familiar with the work of the Directorate but perhaps you could explain the story to us, from a historical point of view.

“Of course; there are no trade secrets in this industry, you all know the basic history of the Directorate…we strode forth under the genius direction of Mr. Franklin to stem the tide of emotional decay spreading across our society.

To be sure our society was great even ten years ago, but it was crude. Why the only solution for depression, anxiety, and other emotional maladies were drugs, peddled by large corporations looking to earn a buck off every sucker that had a moment’s doubt.

Mr. Franklin was a reporter very much like yourself back then. He was covering an epidemic in Asia delivering stories from treatment camps where thousands of people were dying needlessly because governments couldn’t afford the required medications.

Upon his return to this country Mr. Franklin was shocked by the emotional maladies that, at the time, were the proverbial cash cows for the big four drug companies, and so he worked behind the scenes to build the Directorate of Propaganda…free, wholesome treatment for our societies emotional woes, we haven’t looked back since then.”

Indeed we haven’t, and thank goodness for that, who knows where we’d be today if it wasn’t for Mr. Franklin. During the break you were telling me just how cost-efficient the Directorate of Propaganda is, can you repeat those numbers for my listeners?

“Yes, of course. Our economists have calculated the cost of running the Directorate for the past ten years and compared it to the expected costs to both the government and to society had mood enhancing drugs been the only option during the same period of time.

Based on historical tax breaks and subsidies given to the big four drug companies to develop so called ‘emotional drugs’ and calculating the costs of operating rehabilitation centers to treat emotional drug addictions, the Directorate of Propaganda costs the government less than half of what would have been spent otherwise. Add the costs to society of purchasing drugs and dealing with unforeseen consequences and the Directorate budget rounds off at only about one third of what the anticipated expenditure would have been under the old system.”

Wow, it’s hard to believe that there are still critics out there. People are all-round happier, the government is saving money, society is more productive and, let’s face it; you guys throw a great party.

Speaking of which, it’s time for me to sign off listeners and go and enjoy the fun myself. Remember to stay proud, stay happy, and tune in tomorrow for another live broadcast. In the words of the great Mr. Franklin…happy trails to you.