Usually my posts are based on personal experiences but in this case it’s very tangental…ready?

Ok, we bought a car in Virigina and were going to register it in DC except that in DC they charge you a full 1% higher tax if your car weighs over 3500 pounds (something to do with heavy cars tearing up the streets). Well at 3550 pounds our car was just over the limit and despite the fact that we don’t drive around with 100 pounds worth of kids in the back seat, and never mind that between the two of us we’re at least fifty pounds lighter than the average American couple…nope none of this mattered, we were facing car discrimination on the basis of weight so…

Then I heard a great rant on the metro which I only caught a few words of, but I imagine it could have gone a bit like this

- It will be fourteen

- Fourteen what?

- Fourteen Dollars sir.

- You’re kidding right?

- No sir.

- Fourteen dollars! Jesus, can’t I claim it through health insurance?

- I don’t think so.

- I could if I was fat!

- Pardon me?

- Well I probably could.

- I don’t see how.

- Well they get all sorts of free stuff.

- Who does?

- Fat people. Did you know that they get a tax deduction for joining a health club?

- Can’t say that I did.

- You should pay more attention to things like that you know. I mean us skinny people are paying for that. For smokers too you know.

- Smokers?

- Yeah, they’re a drain on the medical system. That’s why insurance is so expensive, and it doesn’t even cover my fourteen dollars at that!

- I see.

- Yeah, and do you think we can do anything about it? The fat people I mean.

- I’ve never thought about it.

- You should! At least smokers are addicted, what’s the fat peoples’ excuse?

- I think it’s genetic.

- Genetic, oh come on now, genetic? It’s not genetic, it’s McDonalds and Pizza Hut and hot dogs.

- Perhaps.

- Especially hot dogs. Did you know that they have a competition for eating hot dogs?

- No.

- They do. And it’s not even the fat people who win. It’s always a skinny little Japanese girl.

- Why?

- Why what?

- Why do the skinny girls win?

- Ah hah! Now you’re interested.

- Just making conversation.

- Whatever. It’s because they stretch their stomachs with water, no calories in water you know. The fat guys practice with food; water works better though.

- I see.

- Yeah, fat people have too much fat, their stomachs can’t stretch the way they can in skinny people.

- Really?

- Yeah, of course. You see, nothing good can come of being fat.

- Except the health club thing.

- Damn it, yeah! And the fact that they probably wouldn’t have to pay the fourteen dollars.

- Will you?

- What?

- Pay the fourteen dollars?

- Yeah, yeah fine, take them up although on principal I object.

- Why?

- Because having short legs is just as much of a disability as being fat. And it’s genetic. Where’s my free stuff?

- I don’t know sir but your pants will be ready on Thursday.

- I bet a fat person would get them on Wednesday.